Ever heard of the phrase, “Honesty is the best policy”? I’m sure you would have heard this phrase in one point of your life.
As we grow up, we are all taught that we need to be honest and even before we are taught, we are actually conscious about what is right or wrong.
Today, I will be sharing with you about Honesty and the purpose isn’t to be like a naggy mum telling you that you need to be honest, but rather what honesty may means and how can we be honest in our relationships with loved ones.
What is Honesty?
Honesty may means to you as being truthful and not telling a lie. It may also mean being a person with integrity and above board.
These are just issues of morality of what we are taught and have learnt as we grow up. To me honesty means more than these.
#1 Honesty is protection
Honesty in online dating is about protecting your love relationship. It isn’t just about you anymore.
Loving girlfriends and wives out there, to be honest may means putting your beloved before you. Should you tell a lie, how much will the lies hurt him? How much will that hurt the relationship?
Sometimes we even withhold certain information for fear that if we tell the truth, the truth hurts. However, the irony is, being dishonest hurts more too.
Therefore, honesty is protecting your loved ones and also yourself from being hurt even more.
#2 Honesty is love
If you really love him, you would want to be honest with him. Wouldn’t you want him to be honest with you too?
Therefore, this is a vice versa longing. It is love. Love will allow you to be honest with one another instead of being forced to be honest when you do not want to.
#3 Honesty is sharing your vulnerabilities
Many times, this is the hardest. Because it is so close to our hearts, we are not able to be honest about. We fear that if our beloved hears it, they may not like us for who we are or maybe use it to their gain.
Loving girlfriend and wives out there, you are not alone. Do you know that you are not the only one feeling this way? In fact, your boyfriend or husbands feels this way too.
Let this love relationship you both have grow to another level. Without sharing your vulnerabilities, you will not be able to walk or support each other.
Can you imagine a love relationship you have is just full of happy memories and just fun and play? What makes it so different from doing it with your other friends then?
Yes, I know Honesty means these… so what’s next?
I never say that honesty is easy. It is never easy. You may even find yourself in the cycle of wanting to be honest yet can’t do that.
Do not take it all on yourselves, stop being hard on yourself. The first step to being honest is to talk about it.
#1 Tell your beloved about it.
If it is tough for you to be honest, tell your beloved about it. You can start by saying “Dear, I love you. I want to be honest in our relationship but when it comes to my vulnerabilities I can’t seem to be able to do so, can we do these together?”
By saying this, you have just taken the first step of honesty. Did you realised that you are honest about how you feel and you have just expressed your willingness to be honest and not you don’t want to. =)
Discuss with your beloved what are some possibilities or ways that you could help to remind each other to be honest.
#2 Discuss possibilities/ solutions with your beloved
Discuss possibilities or solution on how you can both support and encourage each other to be honest.
Discuss possibilities of how you can remind each other in this journey that you are in.
An example could be:
One of you senses that there seem to be something that the other is not honest about. As per agreed, the person will remind the other. Remember! Please be gentle with each other. Do not scold the other party for being dishonest.
Be objective and remind gently. Both of you might have agreed beforehand, what would be some preferred ways of reminders. So allow your beloved to remind you and do not be angry when he/she does that.
#3 Seek the One
I’m not sure if you believe. But for me, this had been really encouraging. I share with the One whom I trust as my God.
I find myself going through the cycle of wanting to be honest yet finding it very tough to do so. My beloved then was also caught in the cycle of it. As much as he tries to assure me we are still stuck in the same cycle.
Therefore, the only possibility that is available is to look to the One. Since I trust Him as being the One, wouldn’t He be able to help me? Wouldn’t he be able to show me what I believe wrongly in order to start believing right?
This was most helpful for me. As I look to Him and tell Him how I feel, I feel encouraged and strangely there is this power within me that helps me to be able to voice out what I had wanted to share.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that I am now at a place where I can be fully honest, but I trust that He will help me. =)
Just as the phrase “Honesty is the best policy”, honesty isn’t just the best policy, and it protects you from further heartaches. It prepares you for the future with your beloved.
I wish you all the best in this journey that you are walking together.
Do share with me your thoughts about my post =)